Law 36: DISDAIN THINGS YOU CANNOT HAVE: IGNORING THEM IS THE BEST REVENGE

Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is to not do anything at all. Making a big deal out of a petty problem just fuels it and turns it into something worse. If we let ourselves be bothered by something, it will just drag us down. This is basically what law 36 is trying to convey.

Often times, those that we desire the most in life are those that we can’t seem to grab a hold on. The more we want something the more we chase after it. With this, we end up being controlled by our desires turning us into a pathetic person. In order to prevent this from happening, all that is needed to be done is to turn our back to what we want and show our contempt and disdain because by doing so we can drive our targets crazy.

Almost the same goes in dealing with our enemies, the more we pay attention to them the stronger they become. This is because we acknowledge them by making a big deal out of them and the more we do so, the more open we are to their influence making us the weaker ones. The best way to deal with this is to choose to ignore them and before we know it, they’ll be playing by our rules, blinded by their desires to have an effect on us.

When we’re faced with a problem, showing how much concern and anxiety it is causing us will only worsen things up. Instead of doing that, this law suggests that in dealing with such problems, it is better to play the contemptuous aristocrat and not acknowledge the existence of the problem. There are several ways we can carry out this strategy:

1. The sour-grapes approach – when there is something you want but you cannot have, it is best to not show your disappointment by complaining about it. Instead, act as if it never really interested you. That’s the tactic of the powerful.

2. When you’re attacked by an inferior, show that the attack has not even taken a toll on you let alone concerned you. The same goes when dealing with a blunder. The best response is to treat it lightly as if your mistake wasn’t much of a big thing to worry about.
• Warning:

• This tactic may back fire among equals: Being indifferent can make people misjudge you as insensitive.

• But with a master, it can have a great effect if done decisively: you’ll be able to avoid his angry response, save him the time and effort of brooding over it, and he’ll be able to show his good nature.
• Making excuses and denials will only make situations worse. It is wiser to play things the opposite way as suggested in the strategy.

A lot of powerful people in the past have used this law to maintain their supremacy over others. For those who weren’t wise enough to do so only ended up wasting their time and energy getting played into the hands of their target.

In playing the card of contempt, one needs to be careful and delicate on matters. Most small troubles vanish when left alone but there are still some that will grow unless we deal with them. Developing the skill to sense problems and to distinguish between the disastrous ones from the mild ones is essential to be able to effectively deal with them. We just have to remember to never completely take our eyes off the problem for a spark can just happen at any moment if we let our guard down.

Sharleen Ong Chiong

HI 18 - O