This law is actually pretty short and direct. I've managed to compile quite a few points based on my comprehension on it as well as some learned lessons related to it in the past.
But first, a fable from Aesop:
The Lion and the Mouse
Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. "Pardon, O King," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?" The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let him go. Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, and the hunters who desired to carry him alive to the King, tied him to a tree while they went in search of a waggon to carry him on. Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad plight in which the Lion was, went up to him and soon gnawed away the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts. "Was I not right?" said the little Mouse.
Little friends may prove great friends.
I remember this story vividly amongst others because it was one of the first that my parents ever taught me. Every now and then, I'd realize its importance whether I be either the mouse or the lion. As I'd repeat over and over, in-your-face and implied, we are not invulnerable.
So, let's get started then...
1. Be humble. If you think too much of yourself, the likelihood of you offending someone and burning bridges goes up. This of course, can not be a good thing. Conversely, should you respect and treat even the most inept people (whether in terms of influence, strength-in-arms, or what not) with utmost respect, you stand a much better chance at forging beneficial, long-term relationships. This is obviously a very good happening because though they may not help you directly, the very presence of a good word in your name is well worth a litle of your patience.
2. Karma. What goes around comes around. You are but mortal. There is a saying that we will all get our due someday. This in mind, what ever you impose upon even the most unassuming of your contacts would eventually work its way back to you. Very easily understood. Very difficult to remember during the right times.
3. Change. Related to Karma, this applies to times as well as people. For example, that weakling you just trod upon just happened to evolve into the biggest, baddest entity out there while you rested in your laurels. Over time, entropy has either reduced or depleted what fighting chance you have. And since he still remembers who pile-drove him into the ground when he was weak, you can't expect too many things to turn out well...
In conclusion, I must warn that this is not an exercise in domesticated docility or unfettered tolerance of anyone's behavior. It is still your call to decide whether further relations with certain people are worth pursuing or not. How you execute such decisions is also up to your will, but it would be most beneficial to you to ensure that the very worst relationship you would ever harbor would be "neutral".
Why? Well, try to remember that you are not invincible.
All it takes is one person, enraged due to an act of arrogance, to bring it all down on your head.
To build relationships is to have your own Sword of Damocles. You have the power, you have the responsibility. But all you ever need is a single act of disrespect or disregard to end you (mind, body, soul, reputation. one at a time, or all at once) instantly.
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27 comments:
To add to this post, I agree with the fact that you cannot please everyone. Each one has our own personalities, may it be good or bad. And we may never know when an irritated person suddenly blow up. Who knows, maybe the joke you're pulling off maybe actually on you. Be careful.
I agree with this law completely. True, you should never think that you are invincible. And more than that, you should never offend the wrong person if you want power. For me, gaining power cannot be done by one person alone. Dominance cannot be carried out alone and if you want power, you need help from other people, you need help from the right persons.
Joan Therese Medalla
Hi18 N
I fully agree with the statement made about "neutral" being the worst position. It is being indifferent... Having no feelings about something is worse than actually choosing a side. I actually don't even consider it a position.
The three points that was raised - humility, karma, change - are exactly the three important things to take note. Then again, no one is invincible. Life is like a wheel. Sometimes you're up and other times, you're down. Probably now, many cannot comprehend the reality of them falling down someday but let this law be a reminder. Do not belittle anyone. Do not offend anyone. Do not bully anyone. Because as karma would dictate, what goes around, comes around.
Dexter Tanengsy
Hi18-N
yes i agree with it 100 %!..No one is invincible in the world, thinking of yourself as someone better than everyone will get you into trouble all the time.
The 3 points illustrated are true, being humble, karma & change.
power is better off if you share it with other people and you need help from one another.
Luigi Ramirez Hi18-O
i don't think it's safe to believe in or rely on karma. we're not even sure if it exists; most people don't even believe there is such a thing. still, i agree that we should treat everyone fairly and that we should never underestimate anyone.
among the three points pointed out, i would agree with humility as the most important of the three as a true leader is indeed a humble person
I agree with this law because offending the wrong person would erupt into a serious fight. One should know his or her place.
This law is rather defensive one but can be very effective. I would have to say however that we must be careful from hugging this law too tight.
Many agree with this law because it is easy to agree with, it is like a cute puppy, even if the puppy had fleas you will still like it.
I want to just emphasize the fleas on this puppy. I don't know if it is embedded in our culture or what but I think us Filipinos are very nice people. That is why when people visit our country, they always say, "Filipinos are so accommodating and hospitable". I think one of the reasons we are this way is because we follow this law very well. We believe in karma and we believe in humility (as stated). The problem with this, is that if we believe in karma and humility too much, we are susceptible to being stepped on. I read in an article before comparing Asian and Western businessmen. Asian businessmen place a lot of emphasis on relationships and Westerners on performance (if you are not performing, i don't care if you are my friend I will find another partner)
I pride myself in being Filipino but I have to admit that when I deal with people sometimes, I am very cautious because I don't want to leave a bad impression or step on their toes. This is a good strategy because the karma kicks in and i get rewarded some time later on. The problem is if I have strong intentions or really want something and I am too cautious with who I am dealing with and too worried about karma. This acts as a barrier to what I am trying to achieve.
It is important to have a sense of humility and have a big sack of good karma, but if you really need something, go after it, yes you may step on a couple toes and maybe you might offend the wrong person, but it is worth it as long as you believe in what you are out for.
So going back to cultures. I just wanted to bring up that fact that, maybe us Filipinos have a tendency to be attached to this law.
I welcome violent responses :-)
Niko Falcon
Hi18-N
To Niko:
About the point you raised about Filipinos embracing this law, I find some truth in that.
While I also believe that we should go for the things we feel strongly about, the thing is, bulldozing through everything in your way will only prove counter-productive. Weigh all possible options and consider all paths to achieving your goal first. Know which of the opposition you cannot afford to go up against. Knowing too late may only end up destroying all that you have done. Why waste time trying to bring down a wall to get to the other side when you can get through a small crack just fine? When it's going to give you the same result, go for the one that would have less dangerous consequences, right?
If it happens that there is no other way to achieve your goal without offending a great power, before fighting your way to get to your goal, make sure to see whether it will be worth angering a power greater than you. If it is something you cannot do without and if there is no other way to go about things without offending them, then go ahead, but make sure you know who you're dealing with and what they are capable of.
Patty Geollegue
HI18-N
To Patty:
Yes I believe that you also must use your brains when going after what you want. It is worthless to step on someone's toes whilst going after what you want and being destroyed for it.
I was however emphasizing on the intial act. This is because, an idea is worthless without taking the first step. This is when the problem with "us embracing this law" comes into play. Unfortunately the country is in a situation where there are many more powerful than us. This makes it very difficult for us to maneuver. It makes us very hesitant and sometimes we end up getting bullied. The first step will never cause any harm, you take the step to see to basically feel around and see if you can affor to take this monster on. If you feel you can't then step back but if you feel you can, CHARGE! This is what I was emphasizing, to take that first step. The fear of offending someone most of the time prevents us from taking the first step
There are times when we need to offend someone to not only get what we want but to stop us from getting bullied. You do have is exactly correct, we cannot just bulldoze around, but you can also step on someone's toes without it being counter productive.
Knowing who you're dealing with is a sign of intelligence and common sense. Choosing wisely who to deal with makes the difference between victory and defeat. Like messing with someone who is stronger is like suicide right?
Don Faylon
Hi18N
I think this law is very useful for those who are playing safe. If you can not please everybody, at least do not annoy them.
Also, I believe that being cautious is far better than being vulgar. We must know who to befriend and who to exert more patience with.
At the end of the day, arrogance will not take you anywhere.
Miriam R. Reyes
Hi18-O
Yep. the title pretty much says it all. although yeah i agree with niko. filipinos put this law into overdrive. similar to our relationship with america and other global powers, we cannot seem to have loftier goals, and well, we almost become someone's bitch. conflicts are inevitable. i think what this law needs is an additional line.
"do not offend the wrong person, at the wrong time"
when you know you have to cross someone, you have to know when your opportunity comes
Mark Bantayan
Hi18 N
This law says not to offend anyone, rather, not to offend the wrong person. When you're a leader, you will inevitably offend someone no matter how cautious you are, no matter how well you lead or no matter how well you choose your words. So for me, it's just not a matter of who you're offending, but how many. It's obviously worse if you're offending a crowd of commoners than offending one rich dude. But of course, one person may be more powerful than a whole crowd of people. So there are a lot of considerations to be made.
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Patrick Reyes Hi18-o
Yes, i agree that many Filipinos are guilty of trying to please others. Filipinos are afraid of being aggressive. That's why we're always the underdog. Sad, but true.
Our Filipino commercials are different from American commercials. We always have to use BRAND X. The Americans are not scared of bashing other prominent competition.
It may seem a bit harsh, but i do believe the Americans get more out of bashing the competition than the Filipinos get out of bashing BRAND X.
I totally agree with what Mark said in the comment above. What this law lacks is "Know who you're dealing with. Do not offend the wrong person" AND WAIT TILL THE RIGHT TIME. You need patience in working your way to the top till you become stronger than that person. After all, gaining power isn't something easy to achieve in a very short time.
Alan Mamonluk
Hi18-O
@ Niko Falcon
That's a really good point there, man. I also feel that we Asians have a better chance at setting up long-term inter-commercial relationships as well as alliances because we don't (or at least, rarely) stomp all over each other in order to gain power or influence or what not. Western businessmen tend to focus more on the "material" aspects of their business and disregard whoever else may stand in the way. Backstabbing may abound should they pound the wrong people...
The three points sealed the deal for me in this law. I personally liked the notion of Karma.Of course, at some point in a human being's life, he will surely decline. But if you associate yourself with the right people and build loyal networks, then you can easily convert your demise into something good with the help of your alliances. Remember, the Romans also utilized this kind of strategy into propelling them into the glory they have now.
Marie Dacquel
HI18-O
I think as a rule of thumb, you should be careful not to offend anyone at all. Fine, I know that this is impossible, but you could lessen the number of people you offend if you learn to be tactful and respectful towards others.
-Pauline Purugganan
Hi18-N
Open your eyes. Basically, this is what law 19 is telling us, in a way that is. You mustn't allow yourself to be too blinded as to think that you're above others, that this person is puny therefore it would be "perfectly alright" to crush him. No. Know who you are. Know who he is, where you both stand. And regardless of whatever the answer to that is, don't go around stepping other people's toes because as mentioned by this post's author, you might get bashed back by this "presently puny" force in the future when it becomes a force to be reckoned with.
Besides, subjugation via force and aggression isn't the only way to go about getting your way. Don't overstep yourself. Sometimes it's better to remain silent and observant. Use your mind. Don't crush other people. Being humble and passive doesn't necessarily constitute weakness after all.
But... don't be stupid though. Do not allow yourself to be "too humble" as to get yourself trampled upon. That's not humility if that's the case.
Jennifer Stacy Tan
Hi18 N
I agree with Pauline, that maybe, what's better than not offending the wrong person is not offending anyone at all. As wit Frederick's story of the lion and the mouse, of course, at first, the lion wouldn't think that the mouse is a 'wrong person to offend'! But then again, the lion still did something for the mouse, which paid him back a great deal.
When I read Niko's comment, I began to remember the first time I played civilization. I had this close door policy of not having deals with anyone. Of course, I lost. At first, I thought that was a good strategy, but then I realized, that I need people to help me, I need allies. As to the Filipinos and Americans, I'd like to think of it this way. Filipinos, when they are down, will go to the persons whom they have helped before, and often than not, they will receive some help, because we also know how to give back. In filipino, "Tumanaw ng utang na loob." But I don't think Americans have the same culture. I am not exactly sure, but maybe, when they have problems, they try to keep it to themselves, or to their very close groups, unlike us, Filipinos, who try to go back to every friend we have. Maybe, that is also the reason why suicide rates are higher abroad.
Joan Medalla
Hi18 N
To follow up on Jennifer's comment, I really believe it's essential to understand your target before dealing with him or her. It's never smart to jump right into a situation without planning ahead. By understanding your enemy's personality and character, you can then judge how you will do the approach, specifically how to treat him/her.
But let's not forget about comprehending your own standing. No two people interact in the exact same way. Know your enemy as well as yourself.
Marvin Velasco
Hi18 N
@jennifer
good point... balance is indeed key when dealing with these kinds of things.
Well, there is a limitation to knowing who you're going against. It sometimes boils down to what you're fighting for. I mean, just because you're going against someone stronger, or more powerful than you, does that mean you will just drop your ideals?
(Great use of the fable, by the way... I remember it as a kid too...)
Eric Andres
HI 18 Section N
Perhaps, this law is very humane in the sense that it does not coerce or manipulate others.
This law can be related to the concept of utang na loob. Sometimes, it just pays to do some favor for another as a means of securing the favor of the other in the future.
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