Monday, August 4, 2008

Law 36: DISDAIN THINGS YOU CANNOT HAVE: IGNORING THEM IS THE BEST REVENGE

Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is to not do anything at all. Making a big deal out of a petty problem just fuels it and turns it into something worse. If we let ourselves be bothered by something, it will just drag us down. This is basically what law 36 is trying to convey.

Often times, those that we desire the most in life are those that we can’t seem to grab a hold on. The more we want something the more we chase after it. With this, we end up being controlled by our desires turning us into a pathetic person. In order to prevent this from happening, all that is needed to be done is to turn our back to what we want and show our contempt and disdain because by doing so we can drive our targets crazy.

Almost the same goes in dealing with our enemies, the more we pay attention to them the stronger they become. This is because we acknowledge them by making a big deal out of them and the more we do so, the more open we are to their influence making us the weaker ones. The best way to deal with this is to choose to ignore them and before we know it, they’ll be playing by our rules, blinded by their desires to have an effect on us.

When we’re faced with a problem, showing how much concern and anxiety it is causing us will only worsen things up. Instead of doing that, this law suggests that in dealing with such problems, it is better to play the contemptuous aristocrat and not acknowledge the existence of the problem. There are several ways we can carry out this strategy:

  1. The sour-grapes approach – when there is something you want but you cannot have, it is best to not show your disappointment by complaining about it. Instead, act as if it never really interested you. That’s the tactic of the powerful.

  1. When you’re attacked by an inferior, show that the attack has not even taken a toll on you let alone concerned you. The same goes when dealing with a blunder. The best response is to treat it lightly as if your mistake wasn’t much of a big thing to worry about.
    • Warning:
  • This tactic may back fire among equals: Being indifferent can make people misjudge you as insensitive.
  • But with a master, it can have a great effect if done decisively: you’ll be able to avoid his angry response, save him the time and effort of brooding over it, and he’ll be able to show his good nature.
    • Making excuses and denials will only make situations worse. It is wiser to play things the opposite way as suggested in the strategy.

A lot of powerful people in the past have used this law to maintain their supremacy over others. For those who weren’t wise enough to do so only ended up wasting their time and energy getting played into the hands of their target.

In playing the card of contempt, one needs to be careful and delicate on matters. Most small troubles vanish when left alone but there are still some that will grow unless we deal with them. Developing the skill to sense problems and to distinguish between the disastrous ones from the mild ones is essential to be able to effectively deal with them. We just have to remember to never completely take our eyes off the problem for a spark can just happen at any moment if we let our guard down.

Sharleen Ong Chiong

HI 18 - O

49 comments:

nico said...

i think the main point is to always keep your head above water, keep that air of power within your grasp.
if we SEEM powerful to an enemy, then inevitably we ARE powerful against that enemy because that enemy will never wanna mess with someone stronger.never show your real emotions by playing the cool cat and being passive, because the minute you do, you'll be vulnerable to all sorts of attack ya?
nico mendiola O

janine cindy santiago said...

I think this law is for those who worry too much about small details, somewhat like those "obsessive compulsive" people, who rant about the tiniest of matters. It's best to concentrate on the more important things. If something cannot be obtained, it's best to just ignore it. It will mean to others that you don't seem to notice details, and hold you in high regard.

princess joan said...

I agree with this law. I remember a friend who just ignores people he hates. He doesn't revenge on them nor does he try to show them how mad he is. What he does is simply ignore those persons, not letting them feel his presence. And with this, those people has felt his importance and thus, realized their mistakes. And the best thing with this law is that, you make people come to you -- by ignoring them. You, do you find this useful in your life?

Joan Medalla
Hi18 N

Dexter Tanengsy said...

Practically speaking, it is true. When you make a big fuse over a problem, it will only worsen. Not only in gaining superiority over others but also matters of the heart. My friend used to like this girl. It was an unrequited love. When the girl knew about it, things became awkward. After a few months, he didn't think much of it and finally now, the girl has seemingly "forgotten" about it. There is no awkwardness. In fact, they've become good friends.

Dexter Tanengsy, Hi18-N

maiki Abello said...

I wanted to stress the point made about making sure not to come off as indifferent. I think in the process of following this law there is a great risk of becoming indifferent. We have to make sure that we don't get bothered by things but still show emotions for it, just not very strong ones.

Katrina L. Abello
HI18-O

janna_amigo said...

yes, if the situation is hopeless, just turn your back and leave. don't waste your time and energy trying to get something you can never ever have. although i agree with katrina, we must not be too indifferent. show that you still care but only to an extent.

Unknown said...

Basically, this law is telling is to keep a straight face amidst defeat, show no emotions, and basically show no weakness. You only show weakness once you actually acknowledge an attack, a defeat, or whatever it is that may affect you. It only counts if you let it count, and what we should do in this case is to rise above.

We basically have to act like a robot when it comes to our enemies, not getting affected when the enemies fire their weapons. Show no fear, and your enemies will find no other way to get to you.

Think about superheroes who conceal their identities to protect their loved ones from their foes. Their loved ones serve as their weakness, a means that their enemies can easily use to get to them. That is why loved ones are always used to trap the superheroes into choosing between saving thousands, or saving the life of one significant other. This is an example of a weakness. Showing concern for something automatically gives the enemy power over you.

Cliché as it may seem, it’s all about the way one perceives things, and the power of positive thinking. Don’t let the small stuff get you down, because it will only make things worse. Better yet, act like it doesn’t get to you at all.

Marian Janelle Aliwalas
HI 18 N

Anonymous said...

Ignoring things you can't have is very good. you can't have everything. There are some things you can't get. Might as well ignore them. And focus and give thanks with what you have. It's okay to seek more power yet know the boundaries. be content with what you have or else you might just end up losing everything.

Don Faylon
Hi18N

MiRz Reyes said...

Most of the time, I envy those people who does nothing at all yet they ended up victorious. I don't know if it was just luck or some sort of destiny that they win. But then I realize, perhaps they were really bothered by the situation. It is just that, they don't show it so they would seem strong and undefeatable.

The keys to this tactic is timing and, like what Sharleen said, ability to distinguish between the disastrous ones and the mild ones. You have to master these keys first before you can be successful in using this law. You can not just ignore every little problem or every enemy forever. One should consider the fact that big things started as small ones.

I think it's not necessary to "ignore" the problems and enemies but to "live" with it. This reminds me of a quote from the trilogy "Tarong" - If you can't solve it, it's not a problem. It's reality.


Miriam R. Reyes
Hi18-O

Unknown said...

I don’t agree with completely ignoring any situation be it small or big. This will bring out apathy which isn’t a good thing since people will think you don’t care about anything. It’s better to show a little concern but not to the point that it shows your weakness.

Joselle Feliciano said...

While I do realise that troubling over the seemingly unattainable things leads to one's depression and bitterness, I keep thinking about how, oftentimes, these unattainable things can also be used to fuel one's determination. As long as there is something that you really really want, even though it will be hard to obtain, there will always be a way. Don't you think this is so? Don't you think that as long as we're bothered by things like this, we might as well use them to our advantage by considering them part of the list of things we want to achieve (though not necessarily your specific goals so that you wouldn't again be let down if things don't go well) and use that help ourselves further advance our goals?

Tomato Soup Lover said...

This law reminds me of the saying: "Don't cry over spilled milk"

Sometimes if you really can't change the situation, the least you could do is to not let it change you. Ignoring it is one of the best things you could do.

Marie Dacquel HI18-O

Nathan De Leon said...

Denying interest is dissimilar to denying existence, which I think is better. Instead of "the grapes are probably sour anyway," go with "grapes? What grapes?" Along with cultivating self-doubt, it denies your enemy the gloating priveleges of having whatever that may be in their possession. And since it keeps your hands clean by avoiding any and all contact with it, you remain technically innocent.

Apathy is infuriating, which also happens to be your desired effect; it keeps your enemy off-balance with his temper and your unpredictability. If and when he finally makes that crucial mistake, you're free to snatch what you want from his grasp.

alan mamonluk said...

I think that this law is related to law 3 which is to conceal your intentions. Ignoring your opponent would cause an air of mystery as to what your intentions are- to cause discord in the mind of your target. He/she would not stop thinking on how you would get back at him. He/she would enter into a state of caution which would cause more hassle than just hitting him/her.

Alan Mamonluk
Hi18-O

duey.guison said...

Basically speaking, if you tend to rant about things you can not or could not have, it is a sign of weakness on your part. Let me cite examples:
Case 1: The frustrated photographer
You are the guy with a dSLR . . . the big kind of camera most people would desire these days. And yet you would feel insecure about your fellow photographer who has these humongous 50k++ lens and all you have is this cheap 2K-ish beginners' lens. Well it does seem very intimidating, but ignoring mr. Rich photographer would work well as it shows that with the litte that you have, you still manage to pull off great shots.

Case 2: The frustrated student
You are the kind of student who would take down notes and you have ms. bum girl who doesn't even take notes and yet defeats you academically in quizzes. Ignoring her academic victory over you is a proof that you are not affected by her way of studying, as you yourself have your own way of dealing things out.

Overall, the best cliche' that can describe this law is "It's not in the arrow, but it is in the Indian using that arrow."

Duey T. Guison
Hi18N

Carl Siy said...

There are some people in the world who do things just to annoy, irritate, and infuriate people. These sadists, in particular, deserve to have this law used against them. Should they dangle anything before you, just ignore them. You infuriate them without falling into their trap.

PS. Magtrain ka nga!

Marcy Leonora V. Pilar said...

A problem's not even a problem until you acknowledge it as something so. I think this law is pretty much trying to guard against worrying too much since worry warts tend to lose track and determination. How is one supposed to journey on the road to power in the absence of focus?
The downside is, this law may hinder one from achieving the fruit of perseverance. Yes, we can't have everything, but who's to say that this certain thing is something you'll never have? What guarantee do you have of that? When can one say that the time is ripe to leave things as they are? In the absence of that proof, I still think it's reasonable to pursue the things that you still do not have. Who knows? You might just get it.
It is important, then, that one knows his/her limits and capabilities very well. Acknowledging what you can and cannot do guarantees firmness even in the midst of the hardest of trials.

It's not too late!

Fonsywonsy said...

Not showing any effects of an enemy's attack is a great way to trick him into thinking you're very powerful. However, showing no interest in them will lead them to become more infuriated with you and might even make them step up when dealing with you.

Alfonso S. Laviña
II AB MEC
HI 18 Section O

Eric Andres said...

This law reminds me on what I thought about as a child: if I can't get something (like a toy, perhaps)--I'd rather think of the bad things about it... and I lose interest for it... and eventually I accept that I can't have it, or at the very least, it makes it easier to accept it.

Eric Andres
Hi 18 Section N

Anonymous said...

I have had first-hand experience with this law in action. Me and my friend got into a fight once because we offended each other for some reason, so we ignored each other. Over the course of a few days, I started feeling more and more uncomfortable with him ignoring me----to the point that I couldn’t stand it anymore.
The torture was too much for me, so I apologized (even if it was both our faults), but he just ignored my apology. In desperation, I begged (which I regret) for his forgiveness; he still had decency in him so he forgave me.
I lost the power struggle and he surfaced superior. As much as I didn’t want our friendship to go down the drain, I still regret that I became that desperate.
But of course, it depends on the person; there are people who just don’t care if you ignore them.
___________________
Patrick Reyes Hi18o

Unknown said...

worrying over petty things can be a waste of time, cause we may suddenly think of it as something important, when it really isn't that much of a big deal. Making a mountain over a mole hill, is time better spent focusing on things more important. It's just important that we know what things we should be focusing on.

joanne atienza said...

Janna says,"if the situation is hopeless, just turn your back and leave. don't waste your time and energy trying to get something you can never ever have."

>> Come on. if that is the case, then the Philippines will be going more to NOWHERE. Everyday is a hopeless situation for us. Just look how many million people around starves for food, thirsts for water, and hungers for love. I definitely do not believe on your point. DO you mean to say then that we should just leave this seemingly hopeless problemSSS of ours??

I believe it is best to develop oneself to get/have the things you do not have. Ignoring is admiting your DEFEAT and accepting you cannot just do anything at all.

Anonymous said...

Wow! This law sounds like it came straight out of a self-help book. I agree that sometimes, lusting over something you want, or continuing to dwell over something bothering your or something you desire can do you more harm than good. The sour grapes approach is good for keeping up appearances today. Number 2 is also useful in annoying the hell out of your enemy, whose frustration could lead to his defeat, and your overall victory.


Elise Noelle Anne Lim
Hi18 Section L

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Since we have memories, attention on something creates existence in our life. It would be a starting point of bitterness if we give attention on what we don't have.