The Philippine Society claims to condone Envy, or so our morals and Christian values exclaim, but I believe that our limited and uneven allocation of resources has given birth to hybrids of envy. Comparing our local game shows to Western games shows, or American ones in particular, manifests crab mentality. The old "Game knb?" elimination round format had the "Atras powers" mechanism to pull back people who are ahead or keep them from reaching the next round. It disgusts me to watch the Filipino version of "The Wheel of Fortune" because while a contestant spins the wheel, his opponents would yell "Bankrupt! Bankrupt!" or "Lose a turn! Lose a turn!". We don't see this kind of behavior in the foreign versions it is exclusive to the Philippines or as they would say, "walang ganyan sa States" these are indirect manifestations of "unhappy admiration". Envy is no longer the "He has it I want but one too" mentality, in the Philippines, it has evolved into "He has it, i want it. The only way I could have one too is if I get the one he already has.".
"Of all the disorders of the soul, envy is the only one no one confesses to."
Plutarch, c. A.D. 46-120
I am very much sure that we have had our share of envy, but because it is deemed unacceptable, we never really talk about our "unhappy admirations". After watching the play "The Death of Memory", about characters who were trapped and forced to remember their repressed memories, I spent some time with the friend I watched it with and we thought and talked about the things we felt like we had forgoten or chosen to forget. The most interesting of which is feeling envy during the early parts of our childhood. Coming from very different backgrounds, it is funny to see how we both had the same feeling at one point or another. I believe that everyone who was once in grade school or kindergarten has had this experience. A classmate comes with a toy or something that does not seem interesting, but as people start fussing over this new thingamajig we get irritated and wonder why people are giving whatever it is so much attention then we slowly find ourselves becoming more and more attracted to that thingamajig but we still do not know what is so "cool" about it. At the end of the day you want one of your own and the next day the whole class comes to school with their own thingamajig.
We are not influenced to feel this way but influence does bring the feeling about. Given this example leads me to believe that envy is, in a way, innate but is repressed or something we refuse to admit because the confession to envy is admitting that someone is better than us and that we are inferior.
What makes envy seem so evil is that more often than not the people who see the fruits of success up close, those who are close to the people doing well are those who are filled with that deep feeling of envy. Running in the same circle, people wonder why someone who is doing the same thing becomes more successful than they are. From these circumstances, sabotage begins. The things they can tell you and their access to your resources makes things a lot easier for them to make things more difficult for you and ruin things for you. It is very difficult because it is hard to distinguish if someone is sharing your bliss with you or just saying they are. To understand the difference between true compliments and envious comments is very important. More often than not, those who envy will find grounds to criticize the person who makes him feel inferior. It can also be disguised through excessively praising that person's achievements.
Knowing and understanding that envy is innate and that one would never admit to feeling envy. You must come to terms with the fact when you start to gain success people will grow envious and you and envy will lead people to work against you.
By having people close to you feel like integral parts of your success is something that you could truly leverage off. When people feel responsible for your success and if they feel that they are rightfully given credit for the achievement, they will do what they can to help one maintain his status. There is a different with having someone feel that they need you and that you need them. The second is definitely more flattering while the first may have someone feel like a charity case - which is definitely not insulting and will stir up feelings of envy and inferiority, it will fuel their desire to bring you down.
If those who are prone to have "unhappy admiration" feel like they are better than you in certain aspects, you will reveal their true feelings for you when you hear them talking about how they better than you. This is strategic because you will know who to look out for and if someone you have in mind should be watched more closely.
The key element to leveraging off other people is showing them that you are not perfect. By displaying a flaw, they are distracted and while they pick on your flaws, they do not sabotage your operation.
Going back to the "Game knb?" elimination round concept, more often than not, the person who moves up to the next round is someone who slowly works his way toward the front steadily and quietly behind the person who is made to move back everytime someone is given the opportunity to use their "Atras Powers".