I recently watched the Chris Brown and Rihanna concert and was reminded of a common practice seen at most shows. The artists pretend to leave towards the end of their set, only to get the audience pumped up shouting for more, and then finally return much to the enlightenment of their fans. This, I noticed, is a way for performers to excite the already tired audience by scaring them into thinking that the concert may just be over. This practice complements the famous saying, “You don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone.” When the artist returns for the last few songs, the audience ends up seeing him in a new light and is more enticed to listen to his music.
“I Shall Return.” These uttered words are familiar to practically every Filipino. General Douglas MacArthur made this statement after leaving the Philippines upon the command of President Roosevelt in 1942, just a year after the attack on Pearl Harbor . Distraught Filipinos had a newfound hope that they could cling to, and eagerly awaited the day that their American hero would come back and save them. General MacArthur indeed gained respect and honor because his long-awaited return garnered so much hype amongst the people. He is undoubtedly the most famous American soldier who came to the Philippines even though he didn’t walk in the Death March like thousands of others did. Because the country was in a time of turmoil during his absence, Filipinos were able to spend that time thinking that his promise would someday be fulfilled. So even before the General arrived and successfully secured Manila and Corregidor , he was already treated as their savior.
However, is the respect and honor gained due to one’s absence authentic? Is it not possible that we are unconsciously forcing ourselves to build up hype about a person because we know that having him in our presence is better than not having him with us at all? Is it really respect and honor that we feel for a Prodigal Son, or is it just relief that our situations will become stable once again?
Regina A. YuloHi 18 L
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
25 comments:
Death in families entered my mind upon reading this law. This can be linked to the famous saying that you stated, “You don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone.” You know those stories where the family members start to recall all those time when they could have said or done things, but they did not? Then all that enters one’s mind is regret. It’s sad that it has to be that way.
I think the authenticity of the respect and honor gained due to an absence depends on the situation. Like with what I mentioned, passing away of a loved one hits a person in the head with the reality that he/she will never return. Maybe its respect or honor that absence may bring but in the end, it may also be regret.
Mara Liboro
Hi18 - K
When you spend a lot of time with people, they have a better look at your flaws or bad sides. So when you are gone a lot of times, people only tend to remember the good stuff about you. But you should not use this law too much or else people will just forget about you or think that you're snubbing them. Mara's also right when she said regret can also be a negative effect.
monica ang L
Upon reading this law, what came to my mind was the fact that whenever Christmas day comes and it's time for our family reunion, everyone seems to get older or taller. But when I talk to the ones who are always together or seeing each other a lot, they don't notice the changes as much. This is mainly because absence forces us to have a bird's eye view on things and that's when people really start noticing stuff about people. When a person is always at your presence, you think of them as part of your ordinary life and to a certain extent, you don't really think of them as much. You can't really miss someone you're with.
I think what you get out of your absence is exactly what you portrayed when you were in the presence of others. If you were a respectable person, you'll increase others' respect to you. It is during your absence that you, in a sense, gets "appreciated" or not.
Christian Canlas
Hi18-L
isn't it right that the more you are deprived of something or the more scarce that object is, the more you'll want to have it? this situation exists everywhere. many people do their best to get the latest gadget that they know is limited in number. having something rare makes people value that object more. seeking common things, i think, is something people will not desperately try to do. the same goes with people. when we are far from a close friend or relative, we really miss them a lot. when we see them once again, we celebrate, party, and just do so many fun things together. basically, we try to do everything that we can with them in the given amount of time. spending time with them is considered special. however, when we see someone everyday, things just seem normal. although we can do cool things too, i think that spending time with people whom we rarely see is more of a bigger deal.
i agree with mara that the authenticity of the respect given really depends on the situation. i would just like to add that the people involved also play a big role. what they mean to you and and how you relate to them matters.
-Philip Albert T. Verde
Hi18 K
@Mara- I always think that too, whenever I attend a wake. Like, are we really only going to appreciate someone after they die? Is that the only time we feel guilty for the bad things we do to them?
@Monica- I don't necessarily think that people will think you're snubbing them, because maybe the law calls for a more polite way of "using absence". But I do agree that you should not use this law too much or else people may forget about you.
@Christian- I notice that all the time during family reunions or once-a-year events. It amazes me when I see some people that I only see once a year during some event and I think wow, it's been a whole year, I can remember all the things that went on in my life this year, I can only imagine what happened in everyone else's.
@Philip- I agree that the rarer something is, the more valuable it is, and the more people want to have it. I think that that goes for a person as well sometimes. Like how when you attend a party and you see that one classmate that's been away at college abroad. Everyone immediately flocks to her, no one really gives much attention to the people you see everyday.
Regina Yulo
Hi 18 L
I think, for this law to work, the first thing the person needs to take care of is his image... You have to appear very important first before leaving, because if not, when you leave, it's like nothing happened. Respect and honor will not be increased, but what will happen is the opposite. When you do succeed in showing your importance beforehand, it doesn't stop there. When you leave, then come back again, you have to be better than you were back when you left - people will surely increase respect for you...
Chris Macalinao
HI18-L
@ Chris- I totally agree with you. You must first build an image that is worthy of being missed. Just like how if some notorious politician or celebrity left the country, instead of grieving for our loss, most would say "good riddance". One must indeed work on progressively maintaining a good and powerful image so that when one has to leave, his or her absence will be felt and the world he/she leaves behind will be greatly affected.
Regina Yulo
Hi 18 L
It's true that the harder it takes to find something, the more likely it will be valued. Otherwise, why else would the price value of gold and diamonds be that big a sum as compared to stones and marbles? And why would plays and musicals in our country be a lot more expensive than movies and noontime tv shows easily accessed through local tv channels and movie houses?
I also agree with Mr. Macalinao. You don't just disappear without doing anything. You command recognition and respect by staying visible, fighting and voicing your opinion hard enough, or else you're going to grow in absence before you can even decide to fade into the background.
Chua Rojas, Serica
Hi 18 - L
@Serica, I like the example you gave with the diamonds vs. stones. It's just like how designer brands start losing their value and appeal once they hit Greenhills and become ubiquitous(real or not).
Ubiquity and rarity are polar opposites for more than the literal fact of the number of times they occur or number of items. Limited edition shoes or bags in a certain line give their owner's pride because it means something to say "there are only 20 of these shoes in the world." uniqueness is key. you don't want to have what everyone else has because then you'll just be one of many, easily replaced and easily forgotten.
Being a good leader requires one to leave a lasting impression on his people. Literally LEAVING is often the best way to do this.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
Although I agree that absence can certainly make a leader more powerful, I think it's important to note that there is danger in absence. It's not even a matter of an absent leader fading into obscurity, but that a greater leader may take center stage while an absent leader is gone.
A man who is equally capable of replacing an absent leader can most certainly use the absence to his advantage. He can exploit the absence of a leader by persuading the ruled that he can do a better job. Of course, the absent leader cannot do anything about this while he is gone. The result? The absent leader coming back to find that the people he once ruled is now under the influence of a greater leader.
The solution to this, like the previous comments have stated, is to leave an extremely lasting impression before becoming absent--an impression so great that only a fool will dare step up to take over the leader's position in his absence.
Chio Cebrero
Hi 18 L
"you don't know how important something or someone is until you lose it/him/her"
how many times have we remembered this when we thought we lost our phone or wallet. Scarcity increases demand, while something that is commonplace reduces it. I think that goes with people too, you won't see how important someone is if you see him/her every waking moment. But if suddenly he or she disappears for a long period of time, that's when you can assess if he or she really was important.
Denis Flores
Hi 18K
I don't think that absence increases respect and honor at all. In fact i believe that absence does the exact opposite. What can increase respect and honor is not the absence but it's what the person does do upon his or her return. You mentioned Mcarthur. Being gone, Filipinos surely hoped and prayed for his return. This did not increase their respect for him. This only brought the expectations of the people on him to a higher level. Imagine if Mcarthur was unsuccesful or if upon his return he was shot down without putting up a fight. Then the wait was for nothing and the people's respect and honor for him just went down the drain.
Gliza Marasigan Hi18-L
@ Chio- I like what you said, that "a greater leader may take center stage while an absent leader is gone."
In this case, like Law 41 says, you definitely avoid stepping into a great man's shoes. If an absent leader did not leave an impact in the first place, greater and more powerful leaders may come along and boot them off their high horse, taking full advantage of their absence. That's why I believe that for this law to work, a leader must not remain absent for too long and like Law 17 says, "Keep others suspended in terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability." an absent leader is just that--absent. but a leader who takes a leave but promises new and better things upon his return, garners respect, honor, and the hopes and dreams of his people.
@Denis- I completely agree. Although seeing a person everyday allows you to find out all his faults and weaknesses, his actual value may still remain a secret. You don't know what use he really is to you or what hole in your life he is securing because he's right there--with the hole firmly secured. Having him leave lets you see just how useful(or not) he was to you and thus you can assess his value and role in your life.
@Gliza- although it is true that MacArthur's return wouldn't have been quite as earthshaking had he been gunned down, the people's expectations were not the only thing that was building. Why have such high expectations for a man who did nothing of value or interest before he left? MacArthur clearly made an impact on the Filipino people before he had to leave. If Erap told the country before going to jail/house arrest that he knew he was going to come out a better president--ready to run the country again, most would have laughed and shrugged his promise off. That's because the impression he left us with is not a good one. Despite his promise and despite his lengthy absence, no one would have expected much of him and clearly if he HAD come back a better president, he would be faced with surprise and disbelief from his "subjects".
Expectations rise only when there is enough basis for them. You don't expect a newborn to start talking in a week, a cat to bark, or Mariah Carey to win a Best Actress award for Glitter. MacArthur deserved all the respect and honor that was expected of him. He was a decorated war hero: Brigadier General in World War I, obtained the rare rank of General of the Army, and is the only American to ever become Field Marshall of the Philippine Army.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
I agree with Mara.
This law and death can be connected in some way. Death is a time of remembering. It gathers people, uniting them because of the history they once shared with the deceased as they pay their respects - something they all have in common (whether they may be personally or impersonally acquainted with the one who passed away). It is the time when eulogies are read, when all things great about that person is mentioned. These are just some of the ways when respect and honor are manifested in the absence of someone in particular.
Surely, one will always be remembered for whatever good thing they have contributed during their lifetime. The only aspect that is questionable is the element of time. Until how long will this "remembering" last? Will they be as faithful to someone who has passed after so long?
People move on and that's a fact. As far as this law is concerned, its efficiency is a little uncertain.
They may have made an impact up until the very end and because of that they will be remembered for generations. Sadly though, the impact won't always the same
yikes! forgot my name!
Krizia Javate
Hi18-K
@ Krizia, I agree that the impact will never be the same after death. It's usually case dependent. For example, though Martin Luther King Jr.'s work when he was alive inspired African Americans to stand up for themselves, it was his death that really started the nationwide revolution. However, for many ancient rulers, once they passed on, their religions, works, and ideas die along with them.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
I totally understand you Regina. This law works for me everytime, especially in concerts. Whenever the artist or bands leave there is always this hope in me that they will come back and perform more songs, and in the moment of waiting i get hyped up and more anxious. Finally when they do come back it's like a new concert all over again, I'm just full of energy.
I also totally agree with the saying "you don't know what you have 'til it's gone". It has happened so many times, and only ones that person is gone you end up remembering all the good things regret everything else.
Tiffany Mathay
Hi18- L
that's the reason why you can't just print out money so that everyone would be rich, having more of it decreases its value.
i guess this law is not just limited to people but commodity as well.
it's like the law of supply and demand.
JR Resma
Hi18 K
A key concept for this law is the hype it creates. It's sad and true that people can sometimes take advantage of your presence and come to depend on it, forgetting that you're special. Then again, planning absence for this reason does not guarantee that people will rejoice at your return--they just might resent you for turning your back on them. How ungrateful mehn.
Peep Warren
Hi18-L
In a certain sense, does one have to be literally absent in order to gain respect, honor and - as the absolute prize - power? Sometimes you don't need to be physically absent to prove something. Merely distancing oneself to a certain extent may already be enough to do the job, and the best part is, when the time is right, you'll be there to seal the deal.
Filbert Tan
Hi18-K
@ Tiffany that's exactly what I feel during concerts too. Even though I KNOW the artists are going to come back, there's a small feeling in me that maybe just maybe they aren't. And then when they do return, I know that they only have a couple of songs left so I really get hyped up and put all my energy into dancing or singing along with them.
@ JR, that's a really good example. I always wondered what it would be like if money was printed non-stop. Like how would stores value their items, and would some items still be more valuable than others? Will the price of an item still matter since money is no longer an option?
@ Peep- I agree. I think that you have to use this law on the right people. Ungrateful people would not be my best bets. People who are sensitive or take things personally would definitely be more annoyed when you return because they're still holding a grudge. But for those who are loyal, the hype that it creates can totally work for your benefit.
@Filbert- yes i think absence does not have to be literal. I think that distance is indeed a good idea because it keeps the leader in the vicinity of his subjects and therefore can keep a watchful eye on them while still using the "absence" to his advantage
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
Definitely, those words are very prevalent because of the idea of absence and return. This is especially effective on us Filipinos because we have this thing for heroes and being saved. I think, however, that it is more likely about stability than with honor and respect. I agree with Monica Ang, when you spend too much time with a person you recognize the flaws. Absence then makes a person seem significant therefore people think more of the good points.
And yeah! Most artists do that during concerts.
Czarina Kathryne Masagca
Hi18-L
@ Czarina-- What you said made a lot of sense. It is usually in times of turmoil or with people who are troubled that the dependence on a leader is so strong, and subjects find themselves hanging on to the ghost of an absent leader. This proves your point that it is often stability that is increased, since stability is ultimately what the people want. Because of their bad situation, they have no other way to cope but to hope and rely on someone they deem powerful. This is often why it is people of lower social status ranks who depend so heavily on preachers and El Shaddai.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
Having the same law to discuss, I know what you're talking about. I agree with Mara when she said that death could be connected to this law. The phrase "You'll never know what you have 'til it's gone" really applied to me when a good friend of mine passed away back in freshman year. When he was still alive, I took the moments that we spent together for granted, making me miss him more now. But this law worked well for him, since he was such a good person.
I guess that although this law could work, one must keep in mind that he or she should have something about him or herself that would make him or her remembered. Also, timing would also be a great factor for this because it controls how effective the absence would be.
PC Magnaye
Hi18-K
@ PC- I like how you mentioned the aspect of timing. It's true that if one goes missing during a time that he/she isn't really needed, his/her return will therefore not mean much.
It reminds me of the time wherein I had to leave school for a couple of days because I went to the States. My class was really busy at that time and when a blockmate messaged me asking about homework, I said I didn't have it since I was in the States. She was really shocked because she didn't even know that I had left and wasn't in class all those times! I guess the fact that she had other things to concentrate on and was stressed about a paper aided in her not even noticing that I wasn't in class. My absence therefore wasn't really a big deal.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
Post a Comment