Enemies make great motivations. They give us someone we are better than; someone we have to prove something to. They never expect it if they are treated otherwise. When Emperor Sung took over the imperial throne of China, he gave riches and positions in his palace to all those he conquered. This won them over; the Sung Dynasty ruled for 300 years. Enemies treated kindly are forever grateful. At the same time, they are out to prove that they are worthy of your kindness. Abraham Lincoln put it simply, “do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
In fact, we have to be even more wary of our friends. They are trusted but too much power and wealth can go to the head too easily. Let your guard down and, well, look at what happened to Michael III. Basilius, a stable boy, saved Michael III’s life and the two became the closest of friends. Who better for Michael III to choose as his councilor, right? Not quite. The power and wealth quickly went to Basilius’ head. One night, the emperor awoke to Basilius in his room and by dawn, he was emperor.
The law tells us (1) to make good use of our enemies and (2) we can never be too sure of our friends. As the old saying goes, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Like Caesar, we have our own Brutuses, but if we can’t trust our friends, then who is left? Emperor Sung was wise, but, as seen in the film 300, Xerxes did something similar. And all it took was 300 fearless Spartans to unite Greece and knock the Persian off his perch. If a long time friend can too easily betray you, what’s to stop a former enemy from doing so?
Sam Bautista
Hi18 – K
50 comments:
I agree with you Sam, if we don't trust our friends, who is there left to trust?
One thing that went through the my mind when I read this was, "Wow, I pity those who strive for power" for they don't have friends at all.
In my opinion, friendship is in essence a kind of vulnerability in itself. You allow people to reveal themselves to you and you allow yourself to reveal yourself to them. There is no such thing as not completely trusting. Not completely trusting is not trusting at all.
This is manipulation and deception at its best, in my opinion, because you ultimately can't trust anything then. You make your "friends" your potential-enemies and you make your enemies your "friends". And each friendship would then all be based on lies. And you would be stuck in the middle of a vicious circle.
Marion Causing
Hi18- K
Though that is true, that friends can sometimes betray you, what about the times when a friend will give his life for you? These are the extremes of friendship and i don't think that just discussing one side is fair to the other. Then again, you were only required to defend one side because that was the law. Personally, I would still choose to trust my friends despite the risk. --Loo (ps. I obviously don't know the mechanics of this assignment. haha)
Sometimes, bitter rivals make the best team. During the last American elections, Barack Obama won as the Democratic candidate over Sen. Hillary Clinton. Now, after winning the presidency over John Mccain, president-elect Obama appointed Sen. Clinton as the new secretary of state. This shows how two, once colliding forces can get together to form a team that can hopefully change the mess that the previous administration has put in their country.
"Hillary's appointment is a sign to friend and foe of the seriousness of my commitment to renew American diplomacy and restore our alliances," Obama said at a news conference in Chicago, Illinois.
Tom Manahan
Hi 18- K
on a less devious light in using enemies, i think that we should think of it simply as putting differences/hatred aside. Tapping into someone else's resources and expertise does not mean you have to be best friends with them.
Realistically for example, if you hated the owner of a restaurant, but you and everyone knows that his place makes the best brownies in the city, and being a brownie lover, you would not let your hatred for the owner to come between you and those delicious brownies. Just pay for the damn things and don't feel as if it's a personal matter.
monica ang, L
i really like that Abraham Lincoln quote.
i think that if you do not trust anyone, you make yourself vulnerable to being another target: who cares about you? no one. therefore you have no allies and no one is loyal to you in the same way you are loyal to none. it makes you an island and, that way, you're an easier prey. no one wants to take on an enemy that has powerful friends but no one thinks twice about gunning down someone defenseless and utterly alone.
so you have to make a choice -- you have to pick your friends and you have to be loyal to them otherwise, you're at a risk, as well.
kyra ballesteros Hi18 K
i really like lincoln's quote, too. i think it's really really smart.
so, i agree with the second statement of the law, in the point of view of what lincoln said. but i disagree w the first one. of course, you have to know who your real friends are. them, you can trust completely. if you don't know them too well, then definitely don't give everything away. that's just being too trusting.
ocampo 18-k
After reading this, I can't help but think about Alfred Alder's personality theory, the difference between striving for success and striving for superiority. As I can see, the 48 laws of power is all about striving for superiority.
It is all about putting yourself first before others. By never putting too much trust in friends and learning how to use your enemies, all that is gained is for you and yourself only even if it is disguised as something good like social concern. I guess it's just logical, because for liking power, you also want to reduce the negative things that will get back at you.
By this, nothing is ever real because you don't allow yourself to get hurt. I agree with Marion Causing that each friendship would then be based on lies...I think all relationships would be based on lies, even the relationship with your enemies would be based on lies and you would be stuck in the middle of a vicious circle and would later find yourself not being able to move.
Leng Desuasido Hi18-L
If the closest of friends can possibly turn their backs on you, don't you think it's more likely that friends now who used to be enemies then can turn their backs on you, too? In which case, who can we really trust in this world then?
Well, all the more reason for you to be careful then. After all, it is possible to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
- Juan Carlos Miguel M. Galvez
Hi18 - L
As weird as it sounds, the law does make sense to me. But I don't see the law saying that we're not supposed to trust or friends--it just says that we should know the aspects of our friends that we can trust and ones that can be used against us in the future. No friendship is perfect, after all.
To answer the comment above: we can't COMPLETELY trust anyone in the world. I say we can't even trust ourselves completely. Anyone can suddenly decide to turn their back on you if they chose to. But humans still trust others, because it's human nature to do so. Trust is risky, but a man cannot survive without trusting others. That is why it's important to know how much trust you're willing to give and how much you're willing to risk, should that trust be breached or destroyed.
Chio Cebrero
Hi 18 L
This is a truly unusual law. (The title definitely caught my attention!)
I can understand how "learning to use enemies" is a logical thing to do. People tend to be close-minded towards their enemies...not realizing how "beneficial" they can be.
But i agree with the comment above (hi chio! ;p ) The statement "never put too much trust in friends" doesn't necessarily mean that we should NOT TRUST THEM.
Its foolish if we start being paranoid of possible "backstabbing" and "betrayal" all too much. It's a matter of being careful and knowing how much trust you should give away.
I'm reminded of that quote by Frank Cane..
"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."
Raizza Encinas
HI 18 Section L
If "only those you trust can betray you" and if "no friendship is perfect", then it seems that everyone should give up on society after all.
Hahaha, no of course, I would contend that premise. For human life is quite a paradox - we strive to do something (anything!) yet we fade away anyway. But it is precisely this terminability that drives us.
Enemies, after all, also drive us to do something, yes? Free market, anyone?
dyl v, L
this law makes me think about erap and chavit. They considered each other friends, and in the end, they destroyed one another. we all know how their story goes, so i guess, this law makes sense after all.
But i still believe that everyone need friends. Everyone should choose them wisely. Even in an ordinary context, friends can be the cause of our downfall.
Kriska Rivadillo
Hi18 K
It's probable the author was thinking of this in terms of a zoological analogy. Easily, you'd think it as mere collaboration or mutualism where both parties are benefitted. However, I think commensalism is more apt. In the case of using your enemies, you're probably only going to use them so far as they aid you in your goals. And for your friends, it teaches you to learn to detach when things get too frisky. Either way, the others are marginalized for your sake.
Joey Palma
Hi18-K
I can't help but agree with this law -- but to some extent.
Indeed, "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" is an ideal tactic because who could better treat you like dirt and challenge your skills other than your enemy? Your enemy would do almost anything to crush you, and so he won't show any sign of mercy.
One way to prove that you're the best is to beat the best there is, and not some mediocre troop. Yes, you have a great chance of failing, but it's part of the process of gaining power.
If you put your full trust on your friends, always be wary that even your very best friends could turn out to be your worst enemies.
Gliza Marasigan
Hi18-L
@marion:
I like what you said about not completely trusting as not trusting at all. And people who live like this don't live at all. They say no man is an island. But if you live this way; if, like you said, Marion, you strive for power and have no friends at all, you are alone. Your life would be a lie.
Yeah, friendship is a kind of vulnerability, but I think it's also a strength. The fact that you can trust others in that intimate way is a sign of self confidence. It shows that you trust yourself. Which also makes this law kind of ironic. Sure, you will become powerful, but how secure is your power if you're not even secure with yourself? If all your relationships are based on lies, then how is your power not a lie either?
@Loo:
(Yeah, you obviously don't know the mechanics of this assignment. Haha.)
Anyway, it's true what you said: there will be the true friends; those who would die for you. And if you manage to gain such friends, then you are truly lucky. I think that if fate smiles upon you in this way, you won't even need to strive for power. You'll be powerful in your own, better way.
i think it is only when our friends are not there should we trust our enemies. what are friends for then if enemies could be there. might as well call enemies your friends, right? rely on friends and when worse case scenario happens MAYBE then can you resort to enemies.
Better yet i believe that you should make your enemies your friends. let us all be happy living in a world of LOVE! hahaahhahaha
Raf Sobrepena Hi - K
Being able to trust someone is important. You can't keep everything to yourself. It has been said that "no man is an island." People need each other but I agree that one should never ever put too much trust on just anyone and even on the people you think you really know already. By doing so, you reveal the real you. As tempting as it is to make deep relationships with friends, it makes one vulnerable and that is the last thing you want for yourself especially when striving for power.
Krizia Javate
Hi18-K
I think those who strive for power can never get everything in life because I firmly believe that one cannot be happy without true friends. When power is your main concern, you can't be left vulnerable and are forced to be close minded in the realm of relationships. One cannot get too attached to a person and trust him wholly because there is still a possibility of that person turning against him and using all of his weaknesses in causing the latter's downfall.
Relationships depend on trust and letting one's guard down. Yes there are those who won't stab you at the back and will be with you all the way supporting you in all of your endeavors but not all of us are equipped with a keen sense of spotting genuine friends from the not.
Friendship is all about taking a risk in opening up to people. And for one who strives for eternal glory that's a risk he isn't willing to take.
Teri Marcelo
Hi 18-K
@Tom:
Yeah, it is rather amazing to see bitter rivals working together. But what leaves me wondering is how long the partnership can last. They've declared a truce to defeat a common enemy; the enemy of my enemy is my friend, as they say. But what leaves me wondering is how long it can last. In the case you gave, Hillary Clinton does not really owe Obama anything. Given a chance, could she quickly go back onto the other team and let the rivalry ensue again?
@monica:
I like brownies. Hehe. But seriously, it's cool to think of the law that way. I guess it's true, we don't have to love our enemies, we just have to use them. But I think that will not be easy, because people usually are proud and arrogant. Buying brownies from someone you hated is one thing, but if you go and buy your ENEMY's brownies, wouldn't he at least be suspicious? It sounds awfully pessimistic, but unfortunately, I don't think something very simple can overcome a long-standing antagonism. Which is where the law makes more sense. If you save his life, he will OWE you. And then it might be easier to overcome the years of hatred.
When I read the law's title, I thought of the Qin Dynasty and the secret to its success. During the warring states period, China was fragmented into different states that waged war with one another to become the superior state. Qin was one of those states. Shang Yang, the Qin ruler, won the war. During Shang Yang's rule, he implemented a lot of policies. But the secret to his dynasty's survival for a few years was his recruitment of 'enemies'. Whenever he heard of prominent figures from the other states, he thought of how they would benefit his dynasty. And when he realizes the benefits that person might bring, he recruits them to work for his state.
This is an example of using your enemy. An enemy knows your weaknesses. As they say, if you want a blunt opinion, ask an enemy, not a friend. For they would tell you things which your friends might not have the courage to tell you.
Thus, their knowledge might make you realize your weaknesses and you might be given a chance to remedy them.
Monica Copuyoc
Hi18 - L
I also think that if we can't even trust our friends, we have no one to trust in this world. However, it is true that we have to choose whom to trust. I think a friend who can be at your side at all times, and who can be loyal to you whatever happens, is really valuable, and at the same time hard to find. Learning how to use enemies can also be a good strategy but I prefer choosing a good friend and putting my trust on her.
Yu Chin Hong
Hi18-K
never put too much in friends?
Hmm. I believe in that. (I like having friends and lots of them. haha the irony) I think it is because your friends know who you are, your strengths and weaknesses that's why when you get into a fight it'll be difficult because they know everything about you. WE should just be careful of what we tell our friends. However, this law can only be applicable to a person's closest friends.
I agree that ENEMIES make us strive for something greater. Like what happened with Scipio and Hannibal. They were enemies. Scipio strove hard and watched Hannibal and learned his strategies. Hannibal made him stronger and smarter. Scipio "used" and copied Hannibal's tactics. In the end, he defeated Hannibal's troops. Scipio became famous for his victory over Hannibal at Cannae. He learned how to use his enemy.
Clarice Manuel
Hi 18 K
Rome used Hannibal’s tactics against them constructively. Hannibal scared Rome and shook their whole system; this eventually made Rome powerful, conquering across the Mediterranean.
Enemies challenge us which gives us the determination to rise above them. It is human to want to succeed and using enemies for our motivation can give us that sharp advantage over them.
Mara Liboro
*Mara Liboro
Hi18-K
What are the chances of a friend betraying you? Just because there is that small possibility doesn't mean you should be doubtful of all your friends. You wouldn't want to watch every step of people as if they're all out to get you, would you? it's not worth it. In fact, i think that considering someone as a friend means putting all your trust in that person. But in the kind of world we're in, people would choose to keep their guards up to be safe, but personally, i'd rather let my guard down and think that i have no reason to doubt my friends.
Dana Cammayo
Hi18-L
I think this law creates a balance of things. Our loyalties should always be neutral, regardless of the state of affairs between your peers and bitter enemies. We should always be in our toes, and we shouldn't let both friends and enemies get an advantage over you. Use your power to subdue them both.
Alan Ortiz
HI18 K
it's why you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer... haha... It's as simple as that... Not that you should be paranoid and think that everyone is out to get you, but be aware that things can always turn out this way or that and you can at least try to prepare for it...
Gail Lim
Hi 18-K
@kyra
That's a good point. That is basically the flaw of this law: in essence, you don't trust anyone. But that is not power. Sure, you may have control over the masses and whatnot, but what's the point if you're all alone? You might be surrounded by minions but you're still alone. And that sucks. That's no way to live life, no matter how powerful you get.
@bea o
That Lincoln quote is getting famous I see. He was a great man and that was a brilliant quote.
Moving on... You're right, Bea. I really doubt your true friends will so easily betray you in the face of power. I think former enemies are more likely to do so. But you have to know them pretty well too. You can't just give out your deepest darkest secrets... How painful would it be if someone you trust would betray you at the snap of your fingers? Being untrusting is not at all a good thing, but neither is trusting too much.
There is a saying. The friend of my friend is my friend and the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Scipio did the exact same thing against Hannibal. He defeated the Carthaginian army and created allies that were once his enemies. The result was that he was able to defeat Hannibal Barker at the battle at Zama. He knew how to turn his former enemies into friends and use their new friends against their enemies.
Sean Co
Hi 18 K
@leng:
Now that I think about it, Adler makes a good point. This law is all about striving for superiority, striving for power. Striving for success is a different story. But things go the other way as well. If you strive for success, you don't need this law. Or any other law for that matter. You'd be content and probably well on your way to a happy life.
The other thing you said is also true. Here's the thing. If all of your relationships are lies, then your life is a lie. And would such a life be worth living, even with all the power in the world?
@miguel and chio
You know, the thing is you can't live without trusting anyone either. I think Chio said it pretty well, you can't completely trust anyone. Doesn't mean you shouldn't trust anyone at all.
About keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, I think there's a huge risk in that. Let them get too close and they might use you, or worse. It's all about being careful, not necessarily with who you pick to be your friends, but how much they can be trusted.
in war, i guess it just makes sense that it's safer and easier to actively do something yourself and use your enemies rather than depend on someone, even if they are indeed your friends or allies. in trusting someone, you are making yourself vulnerable and are obviously putting yourself at risk. so.. in war, i get how this law makes sense if you really want to stay on the safe side and minimize any risk.
in terms of friendship though and outside the context of war, geez. like most of the others have already said, what kind of friendship or view on friendship is that if you can't trust anyone, including your friends?
kristina tan hi18 k
Although friends could betray you, I personally believe that it's better to trust than not to have trust at all (wahaha). Anyway, like Marion said, friendship makes you vulnerable since you reveal yourself to other people. If you don't make yourself vulnerable, how could you ever learn to trust people? I don't want to end up isolating myself and being paranoid for the rest of my life. Despite the chances of betrayal, I'd gladly take the risk.
PC Magnaye, Hi18-K
This law could be faulty at certain points. When one fails to put trust in their friends, they often find themselves being alone. However, it is important not to realy on them completely. People oftne fend for themselves rather than catering to the needs of others.
This reminded me of a saying that goes "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". This could be seen in this law. By focusing more on your enemy rather than your friends, you could see how they move and perform. This would give you an advantage with respects to manipulating them for power.
Richard Hahn
L
Yes, it is true that some people are using you to attain their goal in the name of "friends". They are not true to you and trusting too much in these friends are really dangerous, may be more dangerous than doing so to your enemy.
However, watching out all the people around you who seem to be against you is very wasting and worthless. In this sense, I agree with Dana.
Friends are there to be trusted. True friends, which can be really hard to find, are the ones who can guide you to the right step.
Yes, it is true that some people are using you to attain their goal in the name of "friends". They are not true to you and trusting too much in these friends are really dangerous, may be more dangerous than doing so to your enemy.
However, watching out all the people around you who seem to be against you is very wasting and worthless. In this sense, I agree with Dana.
Friends are there to be trusted. True friends, which can be really hard to find, are the ones who can guide you to the right step.
Hae In Lee
Hi18 K
I agree with this law actually, but aren't enemies still enemies, in the same way when a wild dog is given a bone, it would only offer a temporary respite. The wild dog is still a wild dog, too, after all, and once the reason to ally with you is gone, one way or another, he or she will bite you in the ass when you least expect it.
Filbert Tan
Hi18-K
i agree. trust, indeed, is an essential factor to a good relationship. however, one cannot always totally submit their trust as that would leave them vulnerable to attack. in a dog-eat-dog world, you should always anticipate that the moment you open your doors fully, someone is bound to take advantage, in your expense.
-Angelo Mendoza, His18-L
I think this is a law about trust. Well, actually, it is more appropriate to call it a law about distrust. You can never be too sure that your present friends will not become your future enemies; you can never be too sure that your enemies cannot be your future friends; and you can never be certain that enemies who turned to friends can’t return to being your enemies.
You can’t fully trust anybody so you have to know them and take the opportunity of using them if circumstances allow it.
Lucky are those who actually find true friends, and I think those in power are far from lucky.
Chris Macalinao
Hi18 – L
This law may seem a little cruel. It’s very manipulative, and asks that you don’t put absolute trust in anyone. In reality any one can betray you. This made me think of alliances. Following this law’s line of thought, how is it that people can form agreements with other nations, when they can actually betray them at any moment?
Paolo Banaga
Hi 18-L
people are fearful, desperate creatures by nature. if you're powerful, it's best to keep your allies in need of what you give them. if you don't trust your friends you trust in human nature. but i agree with marion. trying too hard to become powerful leaves you friendless. friends are equals, and the very nature of power and friendship make them incompatible. if you're not in an actual war, you really shouldn't think like you are. Loo, what are you doing here? tska bakit di ka nagcomment sakin???
Du, L
After reading this, I am saddened by the fact that no matter how strong your relationship is with someone, there is no eternal guarantee that your friend won't turn his back on you.
I think this law is somehow connected with law 19 (know who you're dealting with - do not offend the wrong person), in which I also relate it with the famous saying that goes: "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer."
I like the idea that you can actually use your enemies to your advantage. I think that no matter how bad your relationship is with an enemy, there's also a chance for the 2 of you to actually reconcile and do something remotely fruitful. I used to be part of our cheer dance team in school. And when we had this huge competition once, our batch got into a huge fight with this older batch. So what the head of school decided to do was to thrust both of our teams into a scary situation, in which our sole salvation would be to put aside our differences and work together as a team to beat our common enemy. And it actually turned out to be a good thing, because we ended up being good friends with them.
Chua Rojas, Serica
Hi 18 - L
@ Dana-- I agree that it isn't good or healthy to always second guess your friends' intentions. Friendship should be based on trust and commitment.
I'm puzzled a bit by this law because to me a friend and an enemy are two very different people. I think that it is both true that you should never put too much trust in friends and you must also learn to use enemies, but I don't think that these two are related. I think that one should have a good balance of friends and enemies as to better one's interactions with different sorts of people and learn to utilize the different relationships you have with them to your benefit.
Regina A. Yulo
Hi 18 L
I agree 100% with this chapter. You're friends are the first to stab you behind your back. Gossip and smile when they meet you.
Give them a chance and they all over your woman - but then again, if your woman lets any friend do that, she's trash anyway.
Watch it with your friends. Many don't see it yet, as they not up there with money, wealth, fame etc.
But the day fame starts to come to you, wealth, the jealous begins, envy begins.
Watch those lottery videos on youtube and you'll see exactly what I mean on how friends start to turn on you or try to get money off you with their tricks and lies.
People too naive or they know this is true but don't want to admit. The other side of the scale is denial.
Many are in denial of who they truly are and their true masks they hide.
I was thinking that true friendships is that for over a few decades but i was wrong real friendship is how much you let people digging into your private life that means if you dont have money you talk to much i am in the problem i did not pay my bills i have problems at home and you are desperate.But when you have money you can build your own wall around you and selecting people around you so what ever anyone says no money no real live all others is a fairytail
These are some great tips. For those who could use some more specific advice, tips and information about great article thanks for posting.
Cook at 48 Laws of Power foods.
Post a Comment