Friday, December 19, 2008

Law #46: Never Appear too Perfect

As you rise in power, attention will inevitably turn on you. The book says that, in these cases, you should not take all the credit, but act in such a way that your "audience" will see that your achievement is "attainable" as well. It is just not natural for people to be too perfect, and appearing so will create envy in other people. This envy will make them turn either hypocritical, or over-praising; both indications of upcoming trouble. You should acknowledge some shortcomings to appear more human, to make people see you as this real and approachable person. In short, never take all the credit for your accomplishments. Say that luck or other factors also had a play in your success.

An example of a person who may relate to this law is Joseph. When he told his dream to his brothers, it was not exactly an "achievement" yet, but as he is already envied by his brothers, his dreams of success led to more envy, which became the cause of his demise. He redeemed himself, though, in the future, when he was already a vizier. He said that it was in the LORD's plan to save their family that they [his brothers] sold him to the passing traders (sort of emphasizing the "fate" part that he is in that position).

But in this age, where people are generally more competitive, and want to project that he/she is always better than the next person, what are the pitfalls of admitting to your weaknesses?

Sydney Arbilo~
070244
HI18-L

82 comments:

Reggae Princess said...

I actually think that admitting your weaknesses is a kind of strength in itself since people pointing out these mistakes to you wouldn't faze you anymore. You're aware that you have these and the grand part is, you are able to be excellent with these mistakes, you were able to work through these.

I agree with you. In today's society, people look for problems in other people. We know people as imperfect people and so, people who appear perfect are the target of much scrutinizing and the target of crab-mentality. If you lie low and common but at the same time, still striving for excellence, you just might reach the top faster than the rest of the crabs since you don't have to deny you have weaknesses and people will merely exhaust themselves by proving what you already know and will leave you alone and move on to other crabs who think they're flawless.


Marion Causing
Hi18-K

Anonymous said...

I guess you've said it yourself...A COMPETETIVE WORLD...
If one admits weakness, first thing others would do is take advantage of it...to use it against that person.

Marion has already mentioned how people tend to "look for other problems in other people". I completely agree. As harsh as it may sound, there really are people like this today. I think that the root cause of this envy is "insecurity" as well...People who envy are insecure of people that may lead to their own pitfalls and of course, they don't want that. So what they do is they look at their source of insecurity as a threat.

It's a scary thought but I think something like this happens everyday at a workplace/office. "Every man for himself."

Raizza Encinas
HI18 L

Anonymous said...

Well obviously, one’s weaknesses can be scrutinized under a microscope, exploited, expounded, etc.

I agree with Marion, admitting one’s weaknesses shows that one is willing and ready to overcome these shortcomings. On the other hand, people can also call you out on your supposed humility and think you were downplaying yourself too much.

Monica ang, L

Anonymous said...

PERFECT EXAMPLE: CHRIS TIU.

well for us guys, we envy of him. I mean he's like batman. Smart, handsome, rich, good - looking, really nice, basically he's ALL THAT. Thus, people have been circulating stuff about him that really have o basis. He seems so perfect and that's why people want to pull him down. Too bad for him though, he doesn't deserve it at all. He worked hard for where he is now. People just don't see that.

"Perfection" may be a weakness but i'd rather be "perfect" than imperfect"


Raf Sobrepena Hi-K

Anonymous said...

i think that it isn't necessary to expose your weaknesses but it is advisable if you, as a person in power, shows how difficult it was to come by that power.

i think that, although curiously missing from the write-up for the law, an important aspect is the degree of difficulty the person empowered had to go through -- the difficulty of the obstacles they had to maneuver around -- to achieve the power. people aren't so threatened by hard-earned power as by power given easily to someone and i think the root of this fear -- this doubt -- is related to the Monarchs that ruled long ago (the divinely appointed ones) who abused power.

i don't understand where the fear or threat an imposing, near-perfect powerful figure comes from. why are we so afraid of powerful leaders? maybe because we have a tendency to believe that people will abuse that power -- but why are we threatened by Perfection?

kyra ballesteros Hi18K

Anonymous said...

I guess the point is that perfect people are really annoying and attract enemies. And powerful people have to seem human to connect with the people they lead/serve. Appearing too perfect also leads people to rely on you too much, revealing that you can't carry everything on your shoulders, and giving you more chances to mess up.
Dominique Du, L

Anonymous said...

Continuing with the previous poster's comment, I think that if you appeared too perfect, and then people depended on you too much till you finally failed, it will just show that "they were right"--that you weren't really perfect and all that. They'd succeed in pulling down somebody who (let's presume) didn't deserve to be pulled down in the first place.

Like the others said, I think the issue, really, is that appearing too perfect will attract enemies/haters. Why? Because they aren't perfect and they hate anyone else appearing to be so. They're most likely jealous of the seemingly perfect person. Like others mentioned, it's the "crab mentality."

But then, really, let's think this through. Are there perfect people? Of course not.

So, even if one appears too perfect, let's ask ourselves (in a really objective, non-"crab" way): Is that person really perfect?
And if he/she is: Do we care? (Let's just respect them and move on.)

Theresa Rosario Tan
hi18k

Gia said...

I think admitting to one's weakness is a strength, as well, because it shows how that person can own up to his shortcomings and not be threatened by it.

However, admitting to one's weakness can ultimately be used as an advantage for one's competitor. That competitor can use this against you and that's it. Always be cautious of your actions. One must always think ahead.

Perfect people can be intimidating as well. That's why I agree that one can never appear too perfect.

Gia Fortun
Hi18 - K

Anonymous said...

being perfect can be dangerous because you really stand out of the crowd, enough for everyone else to notice. because of this, others might want to bring you down.

the world we live in today is really competitive in general. it might be hard for one to admit his or her own mistakes but there is also a good side to doing this. it shows that you can be humble and not too proud of yourself. you dont want to give the impression that you are perfect or arrogant because you can easily be a target of other envious people. admitting one's own mistakes can also have a bad side. upon finding out someone else's weaknesses, people can use this to their advantage. admitting one's own weaknesses can definitely go both ways, for me. that is why one should be careful in choosing what mistakes to admit, and what effects these will have on other people.

-Philip Alber T. Verde
Hi18 K

Anonymous said...

Perfection just isn't something we can relate to. We like watching bloopers and stuff (i.e. look at all those reality tv shows, they just prove how much we wanna watch "real" people.. people who make mistakes, big and small, stupid and not so stupid) because:
1) it makes us feel like we're not alone
2) it makes us feel better because we're not that stupid really
3) it serves as an equalizer, in a way
so i guess having someone "perfect" just makes it harder for everyone to empathize with him... and that in itself is a disadvantage because people can be very unforgiving with that case.

Ocampo 18-K

Anonymous said...

Perfection is boring. When one sees a certain individual who appears to be perfect, it urges him or her to envy the individual.

I agree with the fact that you said one must acknowledge others with his or her accomplishments. It shows people that you are more as a mortal than as a god. People will eventually relate to you more and as a result, have a connection with you.

An example of which would be the newly elected U.S. president, Barack Obama. He try to be as normal and average as he could be in order for him to relate more to the citizens of the U.S. Examples of his normal and average acts would be going to the beach and swimming and eating at fast food restaurants.

One must never appear to perfect to gain power and respect.

Hi- L Richard Hahn

Anonymous said...

One very important pitfall in admitting your weakness is indeed the fact that people can and will use these against you. On the show Survivor, contestants pit at each others' weaknesses in unbelievable ways. Living on an isolated island with each other for many days allows each person to truly see the other's true colors. True colors being both black, white, and everything in between.

People, especially those today with the economic crises, have to be extremely competitive in order to stay alive in the nasty world that is business. Back in the Elizabethan era, Queen Elizabeth I had a well known rivalry with her sister Mary Tudor and cousin Mary Queen of Scots. The crown of England, power and religion were all the driving forces that fueled this rivalry. It broke down the bonds that blood is supposed to hold sacred.

Though Queen Elizabeth I is remembered as a great and powerful leader, I imagine her to be someone who had a hard time dealing with the image most people had of her. Called "The Virgin Queen", others often used it as an insult saying that she was not a Virgin Queen by choice, but only because no man wanted her or could handle her. Elizabeth's appearing "perfect" definitely had its strengths on the battlefield, however the effects it had on her personal life and her self-image may have not been in her favor.


Regina Yulo
Hi 18 L

Ria said...

Your law kind of contrasts my law: Law 26 - Keep your hands clean. :p But I figured that my law talks about mistakes, while your law talks about achievements. Keep your hands clean of major mistakes, but be modest (to an extent) about your achievements. They balance each other out.

Anyway, one of the major problems I see in admitting weakness is people capitalizing on it to bring you down. If done publicly though (the admitting), you sort of beat your competitors to the punch. Capitalizing on a weakness publicly announced is through slander harder to do compared to a weakness that was being hidden.

Ria Rigoroso
Hi 18 - K

Anonymous said...

Never appear too perfect...

i think that at times, showing your weaknesses can help you defeat others :D


Anne Andrea Lacson
Hi 18-K

Anonymous said...

When you appear too perfect, people would start to pull you down and attack you. Former friends and allies become nemesis and bitter rivals.
Being on top or too perfect is one which I believe people should avoid as it prevents any further learning and thus halts any further improvements.
Being a perfectionist also adds problems as you would never be satisfied with what you have accomplish and in turn keep on changing it thus fails to finish it.

Miguel Galvez said...

Again, proof that these laws are at some point self-contradictory, and that each law must be taken in moderation.

Many laws tell you that you should make your work look effortless, make your work something so awesome that it is inevitable that people will look up to you. ANd yet, this law says not to appear to perfect.

It doesn't consist in revealing flaws on purpose, I think. It just consists in not hiding all your flaws. After all, it's easy to dislike people who can't seem to be wrong or mistaken, who can't seem to be broken or corrected. People like to think that the head honchos are human, too. This desire for regular people to know that their idols are human, this is what the tabloids earn their money from.

Miguel Galvez said...

*Miguel Galvez, Hi18-L

Anonymous said...

I think this law goes hand in hand with the 21th law, which is "Play a sucker to catch a sucker". I noticed that it is not always good to look smart at all times. There are times when playing dumb will give benefits. Sometimes, one has to play dumb to catch the dumbs, and sometimes, one has to look less "perfect" to avoid having jealous people around.
Being regarded as "perfect" might be an advantage in some situations because this would make one feel superior over others. But one has to keep in mind the fact that being superior and appearing "perfect" would make other people be jealous.
I think jealously can change people a lot. It can provoke people into doing a lot of things. Provoking people to be your rivals wouldnt benefit you at all. I think if appearing "less perfect" would lessen competitors, it is worth trying.



Hong, Yu Chin
Hi18-K

Anonymous said...

This law contradicts some of the other laws. Most laws I've read talk about appearing powerful and displaying one's aura of awesomeness.

I like the fact that this particular law is headed towards the opposite direction. As one rises in power, other people would always have something negative to say. But once you try to level with them, they wouldn't really feel that they have to bring you down in order for them to climb up the ladder.

Today, however, it has become inevitable for people to scrutinize others when they feel that they are being left behind in the situation.

Monica Copuyoc
Hi18- L

chiocebrero said...

I don't agree with this law. I think that in order to gain power, one must appear perfect in all apsects. Ms. Ballesteros asks in her comment: why are we threatened by perfection? Precisely because perfection is beyond an ordinary man's reach, and because perfection brings power.

Admitting your weaknesses can severely damage your credibility. Imagine if Obama stated his weaknesses in his inaguration speech. Or if Pope John Paul II admitted his incapabilities. Or if our own student council president spoke about what he CANNOT do. There's a reason why leaders hide their weaknesses and try to appear perfect. People will not put a leader who openly admits his weaknesses in power--it doesn't make sense, anyway.

The only downside here is that people do tend to look for the imperfect aspects. Humans are imperfect by nature, after all, which is why one can only APPEAR to be perfect. The man who can appear perfect in the eyes of others and at the same time hide his weaknesses from the public eye can become a powerful man.

Chio Cebrero
Hi 18 L

Anonymous said...

i think one of the problematic things about being "perfect" is that you stand out, and standing out means giving other people a bigger chance of pulling you down. people become more determined to find your Achilles heel and hit you in that spot. in this case, perfection becomes your weakness.

Kriska Rivadillo
Hi18 K

Krizia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krizia said...

Krizia Javate
Hi18-K

Krizia said...

Exposing everything about one's self can be detrimental. People either get bored or get jealous at the idea of perfection. It has been said that we do live in a competitive world so these are inevitable. Remember, no good news is news. So, having the littlest flaw may cause you the biggest damage. People love issues and hearing about the imperfection of others. They will always find ways to get one (or even go as far as making one up) just to have something to talk about. Media is a powerful tool that exposes people at their best and more often, at their worst. Why do you think shows like E! tonight are such a hit?

Having a little subtlety is a good strategy which at the same time, can help you gather more power. Evade the most scrutinizing eyes. Allow people to hit the most obvious bull's eye as you continue to rise. Choose to AIM HIGH instead of being AIMED AT.

Krizia Javate
Hi18-K

Gliza said...

Indeed, the idea of 'perfect' people leads to envy for most. When you're way up standing on your pedestal, people look up to you as some person who's never going to go down anymore and in a way could get annoyed and extremely envious of your position -- they might want to destroy you or create a plot against you, in short... chaos will strike.

Think of those sexy Hollywood stars who get to appear on talk shows, talking about how their bodies have been 'made' by nature to look the way their do. With the number of them talking like how perfect they are, they create this idea that people should be like them too. In effect, girls and boys end up being anorexic or bulimic in praise of these Hollywood stars.

Gliza Marasigan
Hi18-L

sericachuarojas said...

@Sydney: I really think that admitting your own weakness is a strength on its own. Why? Because when people start using that against you, you'll be able to develop the courage that is going to get you pass that. I couldn't agree with this law more.

And that brings me to my next reaction:

@ Chio: I'll have to disagree with you. I think that Obama swept his entire nation at its feet simply because he admitted that he is imperfect. Time and again, he keeps mentioning that the way to recovery from the poor state of their economy is going to be hard and rough, but he believes in the ability of his people. Everytime he addresses his people, he reflects a kind of "attainable" achievement that made him loved even more. He is not perfect, nor does he says that he is. But part of being a leader is knowing the right time to unveil one's imperfections and when to lead for the welfare of one's people. In this case, Obama never covered up any of his flaws, he just simply had to put all those aside to help save his currently faltering nation.

Chua Rojas, Serica
Hi18 - L

Mara said...

Like what you said, times are competitive, all the more that we should conceal our strengths. Preying eyes are everywhere. The greed for power and success is more rampant than ever. Be careful of your strengths but be careful of your weaknesses. Admitting to your weakness can give others that edge over you. They can use that information against you. So yeah, never appear too perfect.

Mara Liboro
Hi18-K

Elise Lim said...

I really think that reactions of envy and overpraising are inevitable, since a person has varied impacts on another, and these heterogeneous effects cannot be eliminated. I believe that admitting one's weaknesses provides a more personal kind of power, since acknowledging one's strength and weakness will help one gain a better understanding of one's self, therefore increasing the efficiency of one's performance.

I agree when you say that people today are generally more competitive, and that admitting to one's weaknesses would only make one vulnerable to his/her competitors. But showing a more vulnerable/real/human side, will present an overall image that is more relate-able and approachable, which generally, is what draws people in.


Elise Noelle Anne Lim
Hi18 Section L

Roshmia said...

Never Appear Too Perfect is a useful advice. Appearing too perfect may cause envy and backstabbing thus your glorious moment will be riddled with half-meant praise and halfhearted smiles.
However, though you are advised never to appear too perfect, you must also take care not to show weakness and more importantly what those weaknesses are. If people thought you were really weak they will get revitalized and try to achieve what you have. Sure you could beat them, but do you really need unnecessary competition?

Roshmia said...

-Roshmia Pundato
HI 18- L
(forgot to post my name at the bottom)

Anonymous said...

We are all aware of every teenagers' boosted vanity and ego, and i think the society's expectations of perfection from teenagers also contributes to such behavior. Taking that into consideration, its almost inevitable to strive for perfection. In my opinion, its not the person's problem anymore if he/she's in the right track, and everyone else is not doing their bests.

Cristal Rodriguez
Hi18-L

Anonymous said...

I think that you should never appear too perfect for two reasons:

1. People will utterly have high expectations of you

2. People will end up jealous or envious of your so called state of perfection

For the 1st reason, I believe that the more perfect you seem, the more people will not only admire you and respect you but the more people will ask from you. It is hard to put up a godly image of yourself because everyone is susceptible to mistakes. One mistake can seem harmless to a "regular" person but seem as a big fault to one who is "perfect." There is no error for perfection so why take the risk in categorizing yourself as one who can't fail?

For the 2nd reason, I think it's inevitable for people to be envious of at least one person. One will always feel inadequate in one way or another and be envious of a person who doesn't possess that inadequacy. The more perfect you seem = the more the reason people will be envious of you. This envy can turn people into hideous monsters, those who will try at their very best to trample you and kick you off the pedestal of admiration.

Showing a side of you that is vulnerable to mistakes is not a form of weakness but a form of humanity.

Teri Marcelo
Hi 18-K

Anonymous said...

Perfection can really be scary thing to some people, as by nature people are sometimes envious of others.

However sometimes, perfection perceived by others upon a person may not always lead to envy, but also inspiration. So before letting one self be open to criticism, it may be better to assess if your perceived perfection inspires or stirs envy.

Alan Ortiz
HI 18 K

Joey said...

I'd like to interrupt with a different view of perfection.

I've always thought that the literary term Utopia is a misnomer. Achieved perfection is hardly what it seems to be. On the contrary, they're pretty much Distopian. There's almost always a trade-off. I remember the short story, "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas". There you have Omelas, a seemingly perfect community of happy easy-goers. Le Guin describes their rites and daily rituals as if it were too good to be true.

But at what cost?

The twist [SPOILER WARNING] comes when the story of this shut-out child kept in a hidden closet is told. It's not treated human like the rest of them, but just confined in that dark, dark place to ensure the happiness and prosperity of Omelas.

I don't know, that made me think twice about perfection. :) What do you think?

Joey said...

Previous comment by:

Joey Palma
Hi18-K

Say said...

Gia's right. To admit your weakness is a show of how aware you are of your own downfalls... although yeah, even sometimes telling them that would still be disadvantageous to you because then they will have something to play around to use against you...

There must always be a level of greatness (near perfection) that must be carried out to get anywhere but then, we must learn to control what we show off because it can and still will be used against us...

Jame Say
Hi18-K

the_dood_abides said...

No one wants to look bad in the eyes of his peers. Sometimes, appearing too perfect does just that. Being perfect makes everyone else look bad. I didn't want to bring this in but look at Chris Tiu. Sometimes he just makes every other guy in Ateneo look bad lol.

Denis Flores
hi 18k

Anonymous said...

false humility is bad.
but i guess being on top means all eyes on you, so doing so can help you avoid confrontations on stealing your glory, one less battle fought.
though it can also be used as a tactic:

fishing

"look" weak for the bets to become larger then when you think it's enough reel it in.
they will never see it coming.

JR Resma
Hi18 K

angelo said...

I believe that such a rule should be practiced most especially here in our country. As unfortunate as it is, it seems as though the Philippines is a country plagued by crab mentality. The moment someone gets noticeably ahead of the crowd, people immediately take action and try as hard as they could to pull them down to their level, weather through words or actions. It is a sad reality, but its reality nonetheless.

-Angelo Mendoza, His18-L

Anonymous said...

When I was young, showing off and being perfect was the best way to attract people. But as I grew older, being "less perfect" is more humane.
When a person appears too perfect, people feel the burden of approaching him/her. Some may feel the jealousy, and some my feel inferiority, thus, they may not approach you easily.
When the perfect person does a small mistake, it would turn out to be a bigger disappointment than it would have been if he/her was less perfect.

Hae In Lee
Hi18 K

Dana said...

This law makes perfect sense. The moment people see you as perfect, they will always see you as perfect. And it's actually hard to maintain a "perfect" identity because nobody really is without flaw. If you appear perfect, people will always expect you to be right, and most likely, you'll find it hard to keep up with that expectation. So instead of trying too hard to be perfect, just be natural. People do make mistakes, and that's nothing to be ashamed about.

Dana Cammayo
Hi18-L

Anonymous said...

Monica: I think it is not necessarily "downplaying yourself too much", but more of just a little downplaying, so that others won't think you're too perfect.

~Sydney Arbilo
HI18-L

Anonymous said...

Monica C.: I like what you mentioned: "But once you try to level with them, they wouldn't really feel that they have to bring you down in order for them to climb up the ladder.", because it is so true in the real world. I think the scrutiny you mentioned is an effect of the something that everyone has: insecurity.

~Sydney Arbilo
HI18-L

Anonymous said...

Raf S.: I would, too. I'd rather be labelled "perfect". Although people would try to bring you down, the "label" always helps.

~Sydney Arbilo
HI18-L

Anonymous said...

Chio: Well said! I agree very much with your comment. Obama may have been going around eating in fastfoods and doing stuff that regular people do, but he never stated his weaknesses openly. In their government, "survival of the fittest" runs true, and admitting his weaknesses would only put him in jeopardy. I think that Obama is the perfect example of this law: He never appeared too perfect, but he never admitted he was weak, too.

I think it's only a matter of keeping your feet planted to the ground.

Anonymous said...

~Sydney Arbilo
HI18-L

Paolo Banaga Hi 18-L said...

Humility is indeed necessary, especially when one has achieved many things and is on top of whatever field he or she in. Looking too perfect and not showing some weakness can be interpreted in many ways (arrogance, egotistic, etc.), thus it is vital that one still maintains that aura of human imperfection, even in its slightest, to avoid any possible conflict and to make the application of the law more successful.

Paolo Banaga
Hi 18-L

Anonymous said...

I think that this law does not apply much to our society because people adhere to perfection. Celebrities for example, if they're too much of too little of something then they are considered less in the industry. Perfection is key to success. It does not necessarily have to perfect but at least should seem perfect.

Then again, no one wants a too perfect celebrity because it is kind of boring.

Czarina Kathryne Masagca
Hi18-L

Anonymous said...

I suggest that if you have the ability to be self- aware. Then state your weaknesses to yourself and strengthen your weakness...PRIVATELY. Do not put your own defeat in the open. That doesn't bring victory obviously... it shows another weakness... that you have no discression...discression is survival...knowledge is power so be careful who your tell what your telling to. A philosophy from a true worrior.

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